I still have so much to tell you about my adventures at Bike Week, like my evening at SB&B: a Biker Burnout Bar. But I have to tell you instead about the new Dixie Chicks CD.

My friend Julie sent me a copy of their new CD that is a controversial smart-ass comeback to the backlash they got for exercising their right to free speech last year. (Julie loves a smart-ass as much as I do; she’s just more subtle than I am sometimes.) They have an in-your-face song called “Not Ready to Play Nice” that is a great angry song for any occasion, not just trashing the president. But that’s not the song I want to talk about.

Today was a beautiful spring day: sunny, not too hot. The primrose in my garden are going nuts and my roses are blooming in spite of my neglect. I was just doing the dishes. It was a rare night when none of us had to rush off for any practice or meeting. If we forgot something, I’m glad. So I was doing dishes instead of collecting paper plates from the TV room, listening to my new CD and watching all three of my gorgeous children enjoy the last of the daylight together. They were chasing each other around on the trampoline. I’m glad I have this lovely garden window over my sink so I could watch them play.

Then track 6 came on. It is called “Lullaby.”

“…I slip in bed when you’re asleep To hold you close and feel your breath on me. Tomorrow there’ll be so much to do So tonight I’ll drift in a dream with you…”

I miss my babies. I don’t want anymore mind you. I feel pretty confident about that. I love the kids my babies have become. But those babies don’t exist anymore.

“As you wander through this troubled world In search of all things beautiful You can close your eyes when you’re miles away And hear my voice like a serenade…”

My oldest is on the verge of adulthood: one foot in childhood with her hair in braids, stepping into womanhood with her eyeliner and mascara. She’s gorgeous. She’s kind. How can I be her mother? How can I do this?

“How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough, is forever enough? ‘Cause I’m never never Givin’ you up.”

I was crying and I hate to cry alone, so I thought I’d drag you guys into it.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you what SBB stands for. But tonight I needed to announce that I love my children, in case I had neglected to tell you.