I have been poked and squeezed in all the wrong ways today. I am typing this entry with blurred vision and frozen fingers from holding an ice pack on my eye. When I take the ice pack off, my new injury throbs. So I am using the one-handed typing method.

Let me start at the beginning.

I began my morning with one of the wonderful gifts of middle age, a mammogram. So I had naked pictures taken of myself. Better yet, I had them taken with a friend. My walking buddy, Anne, & I like to do healthy things together. Even though they were naked pictures, they weren’t dirty. In the lovely dressing “room” there was a basket of “mammo-wipes” available. Apparently moist towlettes of the ordinary variety are not sufficient for wiping mammos. The actual squeezing part wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. I am flexible in ways I hadn’t realized.

Then about an hour ago, I nearly poked my eye out.

I decided to spend some time in the sun while working on my pool. I put on a tank top & shorts and lotioned up. The shed where I keep the chemicals seems dark inside after being in the bright sun. I was bending over to grab a bottle of algicide and collided into the end of a black nylon flexible support pole for my kids’ soccer net.

I decided to sit down. Right then. Then I had a bit of cussing to do. After a moment, I pulled my hand away from my face to see if it was tears or blood or eye jelly collecting in my hand. Fortunately it was only tears. So I took myself inside for ice and a peek in the mirror. Already swollen. Already turning purple. This is going to be a beaut. It’s a good thing I’m not preaching any time soon.

Of course two minutes later my friends Michael & Debbi popped in for an unexpected visit. It seems I was safer on their construction sites than I am alone in my own house.

I’m going to have to come up with a better story for my black eye in lieu of the truth. So if you have a creative suggestion to offer after the inevitable gasps of “What happened to you?” that I’m bound to encounter this week, I am open to your embellishment.