Monday, May 22, 2006

I have a few observations about North Carolina to share after my drive through.

First of all, pay attention because you have to drive fast. If you drive too slow you’ll get a fine. These North Carolinians don’t mess around. Soon after we crossed into the state we saw a sign that warned 70 m.p.h. $250 fine. Gheez! We played it safe and kept it at 75. I didn’t want to go too slow and get in trouble. No wonder all the bikers were stopping to put on their helmets.

I noticed that the state naming committee is rather literal. No effort is wasted on researching Native American names or themes about natural resources. We passed Truck Stop Road and Prison Camp Road – neither of which I’m guessing have a hot real estate market. We drove over Little River, Fishing Creek, and Rocky Swamp. When we passed through Whiteville, I had to wonder about the town demographics.

I was also aware of the need for reasonably priced roofing companies in this state. There seems to be more demand than supply. Lots of wavy roofs. Some roofs were so saggy that you could step up onto them without a ladder. I have studied the early warning signs of a bad roof. Construction Girl needs to send that information down south.

If you take a break at a rest stop in North Carolina, you will not have to worry about damp hands after leaving the restroom. These restrooms are equipped with Xlerator hand dryers. As a slight warning before putting your hands in their air stream, there are the words “Feel the Power.” They aren’t kidding. My hands were knocked away at first. The force of the air made my skin ripple in a bizarre manner that outlined my bones. These Xlerators must have come at a bargain because they were at our next stop too. This time I couldn’t resist experimenting a bit more. I tried my whole arm under the pummeling air. Cool. It would be interesting with flabbier skin. Where could I try it? I looked around to be sure no one was watching. I lifted my shirt and let the air hit my tummy. My belly looked like a skin seastorm. It was such a freaky sight that I started to laugh so hard I couldn’t speak clearly to tell Peggy to try it. I just had to show her. She tried it and the addition of the belly ring made it quite a sight. Everyone should laugh ‘til they cry once a day or so.

If you have to stop at a rest stop in N.C to watch the Xlerator ripple your skin in various places, be sure to stop at the one with a Subway were Roz works. As I was checking out I noticed that one of the Otis Spunkmeyer Oatmeal Raisins was all crumbled. I pointed out to Roz what a shame it was that this cookie was no longer in saleable condition and would have to be disposed of. I suggested that such a cookie should probably be removed from the case. She thanked me graciously for the advice and immediately cleaned up the mess, letting me aid in the disposal of the crumbles. What a conscientious employee.

So we sped north, thoroughly dried, informed of our surroundings, dropping good business principles around us as we enjoyed our delicious cookie crumbles.

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