Have you ever checked out the personal ads in the paper or on-line? I was recently reading the Washingtonian Magazine which has in the back a couple pages of personal ads. Sometimes I think it would be an adventure to respond to one of these. At the least I would get something to write about, right? So I took a closer look. Honestly, the following ads are for real.

“Matriarchal Destiny – Sought by male worshipper of female supremacy, 46, handsome, healthy, athletic, romantic, passionate, chivalrous, multi-talented, articulate, devoted, eager to please, ISO similar thinking female for LTR/fulfillment.”

If he’s all those things, why is he single? Psycho? Annoying?

“Little Boy – now 61, seeks a warm, attractive, younger mom who loves her kids like crazy, may have love to spare, and still hasn’t lost the child in herself”

Pedophile or looking for a retirement plan?

“Curious? - Handsome, successful, fit, 30’s SWPM seeks unique LTR with lovely, slender, sexy, intelligent, open-minded 20’s-30’s woman. Does exploration of lifestyle relationship activities intrigue/stimulate you? Let’s explore together.”

Do any of those activities entail me dressing up as Little Bo Peep?

SEPPWM – Well-traveled academic/author, risible, trustworthy, future-oriented, penetrating, generous, pragmatic, tolerant. I’m ‘gratis” (my 5 year old lives w/her mum). You’re peri-45, equable, perhaps a painter/writer/composer or ‘constitutional’ atty. Somatype N/A. Cap Hill/DC/Inner Ring.

Wow. You can’t be that overtly pretentious and not enclose your period in a closing parenthesis. Penetrating? Ha.

“Slightly Skeptical SWPM – seeking S/DWF who’s equally paranoid about personal ads. I’m 53, 6’3”, 195, financially secure, college educated, attractive, nice hair, good listener, worth a gamble on the call!

Hhmm… this is from the June issue, so I’m probably too late.

You wouldn’t believe how many of these ads are from married men looking for “discreet relationships.” Yuck.

I keep coming back to this question,
What would I do if it worked out? Do I really want a boyfriend? Am I ready for such a complication?

Have any of you ever done the personal ad thing? Should I? Maybe if this next guy doesn’t work out I’ll give it a try. Multiple dating can be exhausting.