I've been trying to apply some of my Tao and yoga meditation to my life in general, observing my feelings, my body, my children, my family and friends, strangers even. Sometimes I do well, observing myself and others without judgment. But often I don't observe my own reaction until it has stomped off in a direction I hadn't intended.

I sat at my first deathbed vigil recently. I suppose I am blessed to have gotten this far in my life without having done that. It was unexpectedly inspiring. I feel like, for the first time, I am considering the whole possible span of my life. I wonder what thoughts will meander through my mind my last minutes of this life. I am aware of the impact of my choices on my own peace and that of others. I am enjoying the relationships I have more recently, despite the various stresses each relationship presents. I am trying to collect wonderful memories. I have many already. Am I greedy to want more? I think love just expands.

When you are young, you can barely see past the next grade in school. Maybe some people made a career path in high school, but who knew everything that would happen, plans or not. Now, from mid-point in the journey, I am considering how I want Part Two of my life to roll out. I am more aware now that I need to hold any plans loosely. I think what I want to be when I grow up is peaceful.