Thursday, November 12, 2009

This past summer I accepted a wonderful invitation to relax in Pompano Florida with three amazing women. Linne, who I met when I was a 17-year old waitress at Bob's Big Boy, invited me to spend some time shopping and sunning with her two friends. We did find some great deals, drank a lot of wine, and enjoyed watching kite surfers in the late afternoon.

Mari, our hostess, has an aunt down there who recommended we go to this little Asian market in Miami to speak to the owner, an insightful herbalist. We had been discussing the adventure, referring to the man as a witch doctor. Supposedly he could ask you a few questions and recommend a course that would cure any ills.

We found the diminutive witch doctor in a turquoise plaza in a tiny store crammed to the ceiling with imported curiosities. There was a line: people holding their lab results, women seeking fertility enhancement, a few who swore to us that this guy was the best thing that ever happened to them.

We all got in line, even though I didn't have any major complaints. The first three of us all got similar detoxifying prescriptions: two weeks of orange roughy and organic green apples, $100 worth of his products, a continuing dairy and citrus free diet, and daily outdoor walking. "No Treadmills! Outside!"

Isabelle, however, had back problems to discuss. The Vietnamese witch doctor gave her the one prescription we all enjoyed: fill an empty bottle of wine with hot hot water and have someone roll it over your back.

Anxious to follow order, we went back to the condo and emptied a wine bottle or two.

Aaahhhh, did that feel great! I have since tried it on a few different people, including my kids. I rolled out the backs of 8 kids during our Outer Banks week. Last night when my 16 year old dancer was all stiffness and aches from her grueling practice schedule, she requested the hot wine treatment. Immediately, all three kids wanted in. When I went to tuck in my youngest, she had taken the bottle into bed with her and was cuddled around its warmth. "No sleeping with wine bottles, Honey."

So, even though I decided that I prefer my toxins to the witch doctor's herbals, he was spot on with the hot wine treatment.

I was afraid of the wine bottle shattering. So I filled it with hot tap water while I put the tea kettle on. Then I poured out about half of that and added the boiling water. I recommend using a wine bottle with a screw top for obvious reasons. Also, use one with sloping shoulders. The skinny end feels marvelous around the neck. Keep a t-shirt on as it is too hot for bare skin.

Let me know if you try it. You'll make friends fast.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm drinking as fast as I can!....

MarkEC said...

Ooh..ouch.. I think I have a pain somewhere. Hint hint :-)

just me said...

Not surprised you were afraid of the wine bottle shattering - especially in light of your recent fish-cooking disaster!

:)