I was doing a round of hanging up coats, putting away shoes, dishes and school supplies while dancing around to my new Jason Mraz tunes, trying to focus on the fact that I'm happy my kids are here to make a mess at my house. I picked up an unusually high number of rubber bands when I came across these:




What a classic weapon in the arsenal of a middle school student. My son told me there was an all out "hornet" war on the bus.



What did you get in trouble with in Middle School?

As an addendum to yesterday's blog, I'm adding this clip of Cab Calloway, on Sesame Street of all things, demonstrating the Jazz Scat that he helped make so famous.

Jason Mraz does this, and even drew the audience into the Scat Echoing like Mr. Calloway does here. You know it, Mom. You just didn't have the benefits of the Sesame Street and You Tube generations.

As the final piece of my daughter's fifteenth birthday present, I took her and two friends to the Jason Mraz concert at DAR Constitution Hall on Monday night. It was so fun watching her enjoy herself with her BFFs. They are all such beautiful girls. If they were the youngest at the concert, I was the oldest. Quite a college crowd there just around the corner from GWU. I am happy to encourage good musical taste in my kids, happy to be moving up from the JoBros and Cheetah Girls.

He's kind of jazzy and did a lot of scat in the concert, drawing the audience into a scat duel. Great brass section of his band, although the drummer with the gnome was intriguing.

Here's a couple of Jason's most popular songs. I bet you already know them.

My 11 year old daughter has been preparing for adulthood with an on-line video game called Toon Town. At a glance, it seemed harmless, so I went ahead and subscribed. It is formatted like so many on-line games, where you are a character and can interacted with other characters controlled by other 11 year olds who have suckers for moms. My daughter spends a lot of time on this game. I finally asked her to explain it to me and I was amazed and amused.

In Toon Town, you are a Toon, which is a cat or other acceptably cute mammal, walking like a human, and wearing business casual clothing. As a Toon, you go to Headquarters to get a task. Your task is always to defeat a Cog. Cogs, nefarious erect animals in business suits, are trying to take over Toon Town. You might be assigned to defeat a Micromanager, a Yes Man or a Penny Pincher. Other Cogs are Telemarketers, Bottom Feeders, and Movers & Shakers. My daughter didn’t understand why I was giggling as she explained to me with serious instruction that to defeat a Tight Wad or a Bean Counter you might throw cupcakes at them, give them flowers, or gang up with other Toons and douse them with squirt guns.

Of course, all this battling Cogs affects a Toon’s health. For a post-battle tune-up, you go to a playground. You can select all sorts of fun rides and games to gain strength for another Cog confrontation, but your health can be restored simply by walking.

Does any of this sound like your day?
I wonder, if years from now when she is in Corporate America, she will recognize any of these Cogs in their human form and giggle as she bakes cupcakes at night?

Can I just vote for Tina Fey?
This Saturday Night Live clip is 11 minutes, but worth the time.
Enjoy!

I have the most frustrating modern problem.
I let my old website's domain name expire, which was my name with a .com at the end. The day it expired, someone bought it. The nerve! So my wonderful friend and webmistress re-established me at www.annevankovich.biz
I used the error as an opportunity to update some of the info and chalked it up to lessons learned.

But then we realized that someone is writing a "business blog" under MY NAME! at the old website location!! We are investigating it to see if we can make them stop. I've submitted comments to that blog that are unlikely to get through moderation.

Anyway, I wanted you to know that the Real Ann Evankovich is at .biz.
Why would somebody do that?
Has something like that happened to you?
Any advice?

My son is white water rafting with the Sea Scouts this weekend. Looks like a rigorous program! I have been nervous all day, thinking about him in the water. One of the dads on the trip sent this to me. I'm glad he had on his helmet!

I am fortunate to usually be home when my kids are getting ready for school and when they come home. However, I am starting to work more now that school is in session. Earlier this week I had an early morning, leaving my 13 year old son to get himself off to 8th grade. When I returned, I found this note, left in the mess of the dining room table.

Mom I left for school
love you a lot and I'm hugging
you in my brain
love your son

Isn't that just adorable?


Lest you think he is just a softie, he has been studying up for us on surviving a zombie attack. I am randomly getting advice such as this:

Mom, if there is ever a class 1A zombie attack, the best thing to do is go upstairs and then destroy the stairs behind you.
Also acid works.

I told him my plan was to stick with him if such a calamity occurred.

It is fundraiser season. What have you bought? Who have you supported?

I've committed to
candles for an ice skating team
assorted holiday gifts for an elementary school
gift wrap for... I don't remember who
nuts for scouts
holiday cards for CCFA


And it's only September!

I got this unattributed quote in an e-mail. Do you agree?

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply it.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

How much work do you have to do before you can do your work?

You know how you have a task you set out to complete, but first you have to look something up. And you have to find those notes you took. So you have to clear away the stack piling up by your computer. And you realize that you forgot to send this in that is due tomorrow morning. Then you are interrupted by some minor catastrophe in the next room. And then you have to take this phone call about tonight's carpool.

And an hour, a whole day goes by and the main part of your work, the part that they are paying you for, is still left undone. Do you just feel like you are treading water?

Rinsing the second tub of brown soapy water out of the tub where I was washing my son’s lacrosse gear, I was prompted to think of pitbulls with lipstick. Was I, as lacrosse mom, willing to call myself a bitch like Sarah Palin? Isn’t that what she meant when she called herself a female dog?

In order for a woman to get ahead in the world of business, politics, and even church, women have to have a little ferocity. What is called power and ambition in men is often called bitchiness in women. That reaction is so common, that women have taken back the word. I have received chain e-mails defining bitch as a Babe In Total Control of Herself. One of my favorite songs is by Meredith Brookes on her “Blurring the Lines” CD simply called “Bitch.”

I’m sure I have been called a bitch. I heard it when I was a teacher. I imagine it happened behind my back at work a time or two. It may have entered my children’s minds. There have been a few romances gone badly that may have inspired someone to utter the word in reference to me. I’m sure Hillary Clinton has been called a bitch.

As I laid the dripping, Crisp Linen scented lacrosse pads out to dry in the sun, I considered what has moved me to snarl through my lipstick and call someone a bitch. I don’t think I’ve ever called someone a bitch to her face. When someone takes an offensive position, choosing to bare their teeth and overlook a host of more civilized responses, she is being a mean bitch. When a woman behaves offensively, saying cutting words that are impulsively stupid, I might call her a dumb bitch. There are equivalent terms for men who are mean and stupid, but that is another essay. Bitch means mean.

I know some women joke around and call each other bitches as part of their friendship culture, but I don’t joke around like that. Isn’t that the same double standard as black people calling each other nigga? They are both derogatory terms. It wouldn’t be funny if Obama used that word to describe himself. I didn’t think Palin was funny either. She undercut herself with that comparison after have risen so unexpectedly to this height. It was disrespectful. Although we are accustomed to a mean vice president, I don’t think we necessarily need meanness to be part of the job.

What ever happened to diplomacy? How about dignity? I’m tired of leadership that behaves embarrassingly. I want a leader for my country who can reach a hand out to the world without his or her middle finger raised.

I am so glad that we as a country have opened up enough to have women taken seriously enough to run for major political offices. I just wish it was a woman who was valued for her intelligence, diplomacy, compassion and experience.

The choice of Sarah Palin bothers me as a feminist because she seems to have been chosen for her appearance. It seems youth and beauty still trump experience. The same women who faulted Hillary for “only” being the First Lady and a freshman senator are waving around Palin signs with lipstick on them.

What about Senators Hutchinson, Mikulski, or Madeline Albright? Does a woman’s appearance still count for more than her experience? Does she have to be a bitch in high heels? Can’t she just be qualified? I see the answer to those questions in the paper every morning.

I know, I know that Obama doesn’t have any more experience than she does, but he has the dignity and intelligence I think a president should have. I think Hillary would have been better, but it seems that America wasn’t ready for a woman with authentic strength. McCain is too outdated, not to mention Republican. His back up plan, Palin seems ill-equipped for the job. If you took away all the personalities and appearances, I would still vote Democratic. I’m sure that when the Democrats win, Palin will use those eight years to get some authentic experience and study up. Now that she has been yanked into the spotlight, she is here to stay.

Choosing a woman because of the emotion she incites is not exactly the reason I would vote for a woman. When the excitement has subsided, I want someone who can take this country to new heights. We have been brought low these last eight years. This lacrosse mom is looking for a new leadership that will make us a winning team again. I’d love a woman to be in command, but not a bitch.

Lately I feel like all I have been doing is putting things away, moving stuff from one room to another. But it is like holding back the tide, especially since school started and there is a fresh onslaught of stuff every day at 3.



I have been playing on Facebook. My account says "Ann and Tim Evankovich are now friends." Well, I guess it is about time. It has been about five and a half years since he moved out. It seems funny to have that announced.

I just recently finished listening to an unabridged audio recording of The 19th Wife, a novel by David Ebershoff, considering the mystery of faith by exploring the polygamous history of Mormonism. The book juxtaposes passages from historical documents alongside his modern narrative.

The narrator of the modern storyline is Jordan Scott, a young man who was excommunicated at age 14 from the Firsts, the modern fundamentalist Mormon sect. He is returning to his bizarre hometown to try to solve the murder of his father in order to exonerate his mother who is accused of the crime. He hasn’t spoken to his mother in six years, since the night she dropped him off on the highway with $17.

Jordan identifies the point of contention that led to the rift between the Firsts and the Mormons as polygamy…. “This sort of split happens all the time: the Jews & the Christians, the Catholics & the Protestants, the Mormons & the Firsts. It’s been going on forever, and the only thing I know for sure is it messes up a lot of shit for the rest of us.

I know a lot of people, myself included, who have been screwed by such religious rifts. I understand exactly what Jordan is talking about.

A minor character in the modern storyline says, “I’ve never been much of a god person, but I admire a man who knows what he believes and sticks to it. All great men are like that. And who am I to say that what he believes is any crazier than the rest of the shit everyone else out there believes, including me.”


Have you ever been to Salt Lake City? I was standing in Temple Square, reading the tributes to Joseph Smith & Brigham Young. My then husband asked, “Who’s buying this?” But is their belief in Joseph Smith and those golden plates and the revelation that polygamy is God’s will any crazier than our Christian walking on water stories? What about Noah’s ark?

Faith is a mystery. I think we just need to back off a little and acknowledge that the religions of other people are equally valid to whatever our beliefs are.

But what about when one person’s religious views are harming others, like in polygamy? What about the honor killings in Muslim countries? What about preventing homosexuals with the legal benefits of marriage? What about censorship? Abortion?

At least we live in a country where we can debate these issues. I hope we can maintain that status and not become a theocracy.

Great speech, Hillary!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Everyone's excited about school starting again. I've been school supply shopping and of course to American Eagle.

I remember in high school I had one pair of Calvin Kleins and one pair of Gloria Vanderbilts. Did I ever have Jordache? Anyway, we were mostly Sears with a dash of brand name labels. I appreciate that I can fill out most of my kids' wardrobes at Target.

What was your favorite item of clothing when you were trying to be cool in school?

I took my two oldest kids and their teenage guests visiting from Ohio on the Annapolis Ghost Tour last night during the full moon. It was quite enjoyable, despite their young fears that it might be too much like a history class. I often lingered at the sight for a photo, hoping to catch a ghoulie on film. At the scariest house, I got spooked, cold, goosebumps, and ran to catch up. They have a haunted pub crawl that I want to sign up for next - especially if I have booked a room in one of the centuries old haunted inns right there by the State Capital.

Have you ever encountered a ghost? Do you believe in them? I haven't knowingly encountered one, but I believe in them. That's why I can't watch those scary movies.

Here's the chaos just below my surface:




I'm trying to keep all the seepage and stench in check, but sometime is just creeps right in. It takes quite an effort to control

Because the Ex is well connected, I got to go to the Jonas Brothers' concert Wednesday night in Baltimore with my kids. I was annoyed at myself for forgetting my earplugs, not due to the loud music so much: it was the thousands of shrieking girls. My son was happy that Demi Lovato opened for the JoBros. He was in the gender minority, although I heard no complaints.

In case you are not living with children between the ages of 10 & 15, the JoBros are all the rage in Disney boy bands. They put on quite an entertaining show with lasers and pyrotechnics. They had an eight piece string band playing, all beautiful young women in red. I imagine this is not the venue their parents had in mind when they were driving them to lessons. But I bet it pays better than many violin gigs.

So the kids got to sit in the second row at the end of the catwalk - almost in touching distance. No binoculars necessary. Tim & I sat about 20 rows behind them. When seated, you could look sideways and see all the other parents in attendance. We had a silent camaraderie beneath the hysterical shrieking.

What was your first concert?

I went camping last week with my 13 year old son and three buddies of his at Tuckahoe State Park. This one picture sums up why I did it. We had so much fun without a kaper chart or strict schedule. Doesn't everything taste better when cooked over a campfire?

I had a mini-cabin with beds & AC for the grown-ups and let the boys set up a tent for themselves around the corner, just out of sight of the cabin.

Mark joined me the first evening and Mom the next. During their overlap, the three of us left the boys behind and went to the nearby Adkins Arboretum. We arrived with less than an hour before closing and the clerk in the gift shop suggested a trail with artwork installed throughout it. She warned us that some of the artwork was "a little weird." Sounded perfect.

The first artwork we mistook for pollution, perhaps an abandoned scout project? But then we figured it out. It really was cool, despite the humid heat and bugs. The giant sweaters were called "Tree Huggers." One of my favorites was a network of fine wires with crystal beads that looked a bit like a spiderweb with dewdrops, although it didn't photograph well.